Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize