i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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