What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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