i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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