Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I could fuck to npr.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Randomize
