can u get pink eye on your cock?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize