Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
