I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
