I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
