You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
