Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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