I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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