I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
