why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
