I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
