Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Randomize
