go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
did i just pee glitter
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