The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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