Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize