drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
