I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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