i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize