I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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