:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
