they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
