what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
no more duck duck goose at the bar
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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