is your mom at the bar?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i now understand why vodka
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
