i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
