I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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