I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
