she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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