found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
