i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
