I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
