I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
