the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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