we made out on top of his cat.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
