well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
