She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
