Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
