Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
