it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i want to swaddle you in tequila
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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