I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
