he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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