What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
