That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize