That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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