I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
