and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
