please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize