In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
