Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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