at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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