those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize