and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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