there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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