Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
