TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
