You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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