i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
