I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
