Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
