He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
how drunk are you?
Several
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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