Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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